Insomnia and I are like good friends. We can not see each other for a long time (months, years!) but when we met again, it's like we've never been apart. Except without all the fun catching up, you know.
Although I wouldn't call myself a chronic insomniac, I've struggled with falling asleep since I was a little girl. It's a problem that accentuates itself when I have a lot on my mind, so it's no surprise that I spent much of my college days in a sleep deprived haze (despite getting plenty of exercise and getting to bed at reasonable times by the time I was an upperclassman) or that insomnia likes to rear its ugly head during the busy, busy summer months. But I've had quite a well-rested winter this year, so I was kind of surprised when insomnia stopped by for a late night visit last night.
Riddle me this, how can a person be so tired they're barely focusing on the words of the book they're reading at 10 p.m., only to go to bed shortly there after and be wide awake until after midnight?
Now that I'm older and wiser(?), I tend to give in to insomnia's greedy demands for attention and usually just get up and knit or read for an hour (something that doesn't involve screentime) until my body decides it's bedtime again. But last night I felt stubborn. I didn't want to get up. So instead, I tossed and turned until the covers were in royal disarray, before finally falling into one of those fitful slumbers where you're never quite sure you were ever really asleep. Today finds me in a thick fog that even a big glass of poison water (diet Pepsi) can't lift.
Oh, I know all about what's supposed to help us fall asleep. I rarely, if ever drink caffeine in the evenings. I know I'm suppose to avoid any screens for about an hour before I go to sleep, so I usually opt for a couple chapters of my book du jour before pulling on the pjs and brushing my teeth. I know if I exercised a goodly amount, I'm more likely to sleep soundly. And I know that I'm suppose to leave the worries of the next day on my desk instead of taking them to bed.
But last night all those little worries that are always scuttling around in my head started whispering, growing louder and louder until sleep seemed impossible.
I really need to redo that interview I thought. I think I should have a slideshow component for the website for my radio project. How would I put together a slideshow? Where would I get the pictures? What should I pack for my trip to Michigan this weekend? Should I carpool to my meeting on Friday? Wait, I'm sharing a checked suitcase with my mom . . . am I planning to pack more than my fair share? Is it possible for me to get venison sausage to my brother while out it spoiling? When should I make this year's corned beef since I'll be gone on St. Patrick's Day? Should I put my Etsy shop on vacation next week? Should I knit more owl cozies? Am I focusing my savings too much on retirement? Where can I get a photo for my passport renewal application? Is that client *ever* going to pay me?
So many questions. And not one of them needed an answer until the next morning at the very earliest. Such tiny insignificant things in the big scheme of life, really.
I wish I had a switch to turn off my mind's senseless rambling, at least at the end of the day. But I don't. So sometimes my mind churns away and I am whisked along for the long, sleepless ride. It's not my favorite experience, but hey, at least insomnia and I know each other.
What keeps you awake at night? What are your insomnia cures?