What's winter crud, you ask? Why, it's the wonderful brown substance that forms when snow mixes with road salt. It has a penchant for clinging to cars' mudflaps and frames and is often found in big blobs along road shoulders.
And crud kicking? It's the casual, noncompetitive sport I learned from my father of kicking crud wherever you find it. If you see some crud built up on your car's mudflaps: tap it. If you see a big blob of crud on the shoulder of the road: shatter it with a wind-up kick.
There's only one rule to the sport of crud kicking, which my father taught my brother and I at an early age: Always tap a ball of crud lightly before giving it your best "soccer ball" kick to make sure it isn't frozen solid. (Your toes will thank you for this.)
Oh the joy in kicking the mud flaps and watching the thick layer of crud fall and shatter on the ground. The excitement in revealing the true exterior of your vehicle. The pride in looking at all brown gunk you've just dislodged and loudly exclaiming "Wow, look at that crud!"
A crud kicker's job's never done.
(Let's just add this to my sporadic "you know you're a redneck when . . . " series, eh?)